mootopia

March 30, 2010 3:40 PM

Once these girls started fighting over their milk-induced shiny hair, injuries were kept to a minimum due to their strong bones and powerful muscles (though biting did leave some marks as milk does wonders for teeth).

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enjoy your new shower

March 26, 2010 2:06 PM

Suffice it to say, after this couple found a hidden camera installed in their shower, they found a new plumber. And called the police.

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you still owe me money

March 25, 2010 4:24 PM

After this girl found out she was going Dutch and would have to pay for her own meal, she gave her date a Dutch elbow to the face.

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when dogs eat people food

March 23, 2010 3:42 PM

These Japanese chips carry a major side effect if fed to dogs – they'll cause pets to grow 6 feet tall and never leave you and your friends alone. We heard this breed of giant dogs overthrew all nano pet technology.

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we can dance if we want to

March 22, 2010 12:10 PM

Add iced tea to the list of things that make Hugh Jackman want to dance. Also on the list: looking in the mirror, clean cotton sheets and a well-tailored suit.

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the burden of handsomeness

March 19, 2010 2:52 PM

Wear Old Spice and you too can carve poultry into an exact replica of your lady love's profile. And smell like a mountain.

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yo' momma-ween

March 18, 2010 1:52 PM

Your momma's so ugly she has to wear a hockey mask for a living. Oh wait, that's just you!

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I like to twirl

March 17, 2010 4:42 PM

Kotex keeps it real. Each box of tampons comes with a complimentary chocolate cake.

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life comes at you fast

March 16, 2010 2:17 PM

This guy must have had something else mixed in with his coffee besides sugar and milk, which would explain why he saw cartoon birdies flying around.

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here kitty, kitty

March 12, 2010 5:04 PM

Too bad Phil couldn't find the early ancestor of a golden retriever or beagle to adopt instead.

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get some hair action

March 11, 2010 4:57 PM

When using your Axe shampoo, watch out for that live ferret lurking within your lovely locks.

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before you text, give it a ponder

March 10, 2010 4:26 PM

James Lipton knows acting and catfights better than anyone.

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practice safe breath

March 9, 2010 6:33 PM

Gum may be refreshing, but it isn't going to do much nine months from now.

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wash like a man, feel like a man

March 8, 2010 3:36 PM

This shower gel technology is very advanced -- only the most testosterone-filled, outdoorsy men should use it. Any woman who picks up the bottle may begin, as the voiceover states, "to feel like a man."

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