nothing says romance like chicken tenders

November 6, 2009 5:19 PM

And nothing says, "My wife is no longer interested in me" like an evening alone at the driving range.

do your own adventure

November 4, 2009 6:39 PM

Apparently, Mountain Dew helps you stay young while being true to your old-school roots. Is that what this ad is trying to say?

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like you're eating for two

November 2, 2009 7:09 PM

Maybe "It will make you feel like you're pregnant" isn't the best angle for advertising food.

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there's a maze out back

October 30, 2009 4:33 PM

Does typing the same phrase over and over have the same sinister implications if it's as simple as hitting copy-paste?

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chair pants for the weak

October 28, 2009 6:18 PM

This commercial is fake. But it's for a real product. But you're not supposed to buy it. But you can if you want to. So, it's technically a real commercial. But they don't want to advertise the product that's advertised. They're actually advertising milk. Got it? Man, those Canadians sure are tricky.

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latch on all accessories

October 27, 2009 4:00 PM

Uncoordinated opponent and broken television not included.

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windows 7 whopper

October 26, 2009 2:27 PM

Hurry! This arterial blockage on a bun is only available for a few more days! We're getting on the next flight to Japan.

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some of them have stains

October 21, 2009 5:16 PM

Before Robert Lee got hit five times with a crescent wrench, he was a neurosurgeon. But now, he talks real slow and sells mobile homes. And he tells it like it is.

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the story of Alan

October 20, 2009 6:33 PM

In case you'd been wondering, the guys over at the Doritos company have a lot of time on their hands. They used to spend that time coming up with new flavors, but ever since the Bacon Grease Blasters failed, they've mainly just been writing power ballads.

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the shrimp gets the coconut

October 19, 2009 2:54 PM

The shrimp may "get" the coconut, but we just don't get this commercial. We feel fairly certain a shrimp with laser-shooting powers should be studied and put to good use—not eaten on a pizza.

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smooth and rich

October 15, 2009 6:36 PM

But will the beer bring you flowers, or make you soup when you're sick, or buy you a Camaro? No? We'll take the rich guy.

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much more sophisticated

October 14, 2009 6:19 PM

If our dog grows Gary Busey teeth, we're returning the car. That's it.

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you don't have to be afraid

October 13, 2009 7:00 PM

Do zombies really drink coffee? We thought they just feasted on human brains. This guy's an imposter!

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bail out, bail out, bail out

October 9, 2009 3:53 PM

Just so you know, if you don't pay the money back, you'll probably get smote by the heavens. So, uh, before you call, make sure you've got the necessary funds lined up somewhere.

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where will the network show up next?

October 8, 2009 5:58 PM

And you thought it was just a gimmick! Nope. If you have Verizon Wireless, prepare to never be alone again. It may make your late night phone calls uncomfortable, but too bad.

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a pretty smart-shopping man

October 7, 2009 4:13 PM

He should know about body wash. Having fur and armpits can result in some pretty stinky stenches.

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watch your fingers

October 5, 2009 5:38 PM

When you bring a parrot in pajamas into the picture, all bets are off. If you lose a finger, you've really got no one to blame but yourself.

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that's one hot mama

October 2, 2009 2:23 PM

We're sure the baby is appreciating this, too. "No, no, just keep banging me into things. I'm fine, don't worry. I'm just trying to grow a brain in here."

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